My First Panic Attack

It was a warm rainy spring evening and my girlfriend had just broken up with me. I laid on my bed hearing the rain come down my window wondering what I was going to do. It caught me off guard and I didn’t know how to react or what to do. Everyone in school will know she broke up to me and I didn’t know how to go on without her. The numbness started to fill my body, my fingers tingled, heart was pounding harder and harder, and sweat started to build on my head. I didn’t know what was happening, but couldn’t stop it. I lay there crying harder and harder and feeling very uncomfortable. Shortness in my breathe was causing me to feel light headed. I didn’t know what to do or who to ask for help. I didn’t want my friends to know or see me like this. It felt like I would never come out of this. Was this a panic attack I was having??? I’ve heard my friends mention it, but this is too much, it couldn’t be what they experience. I had to do something or I was going to die right here on my bed (obviously I didn’t). I got up feeling light headed and my legs were weak. Taking my clothes off seemed too hard to do, but I finally managed to get them off and I got into a hot shower, crying the whole time. I laid down in the tub as the shower poured down on me, crying uncontrollably. Everything was racing through my mind; everyone is going to laugh at me, thinking of her kissing someone else, other girls never wanting me because I had been dumped, my friends knowing that she had effected me this much. Slowly I could feel my heart beat slowing down and I wasn’t crying as hard. I was starting to notice the water falling down on me and started thinking of how good that felt. It was like a cleaning. I sat there realizing that I had had a panic attack. It was the first panic attack I’d ever had and I was proud that I had gotten through it. After what seemed like 30 min I got out of the shower and realized things were going to be okay. By the time I had gotten dressed again I decided that no girl would make me feel like this again. Now when my friends mention panic attacks I can understand them better and I now know that anyone can have a panic attack at any time and it’s important that we know what we’re experience, and that it will pass. You can even take a hot shower to help. haha

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